The Failure-Boasting Line

To be a good American is to pursue success and avoid failure.

The Unspoken Success Mandate

We are expected to seek success at all costs.

We are taught to believe that any child could become the President of the United States and “do anything they set their mind on.”

It is therefore our duty to climb, climb, climb up the ladder so we can be bigger, greater, and higher than we were.

It is mandated that we hold onto our high status of achievement, our elevated self, at all costs.

It is mandated that we never go down, grow less, be less famous, or make less money.

And if the worst, a failure, should happen, it is imperative we do everything in our power to escape failure and move up again.

The Success Cult

We applaud winners, follow the successful, and keep our eye on the celebrity.

We disdain losers, ignore failures, and forget the forgotten and the unknown and the obscure.

We reward the climbers, and heap shame on the fallen.

To be a self-made man is one of the highest compliments we can pay.

From the self-reliant pioneer, to the victorious soldier in war, to the ruthless, dominant CEO, to the bragging champion athlete, to the uber-rich, inventive entrepreneur, we worship those “above us”.

If we can’t be one of them, we secretly believe we can be one of them with a little more effort, with a lucky break, with the right connections.

Quit or Try Harder

This strategy either works or it doesn’t.

Then we either carry a resentful envy–the deck is stacked against me, it’s not fair, it’s the system, etc.

This is the “give-up, why try” option.

Or we carry a lustful envy–that’s the kind of recognition I deserve, that’s the kind of wealth I want, that’s the kind of power I need to wield.

This is the “do more, try harder, be better” option.

The Downside

But those who try to fly at the highest altitudes fall the furthest and crash the hardest in life.

We simply can’t handle the heights, with all the pressure to perform and always look good.

The truth is we all have areas of profound, hidden brokenness, soul issues that defy healing, and problems that refuse to get better.

We are insufficient and inadequate, even for ourselves.

So we maintain a facade, put up a front, project an image, and hide our worst secret:  we are failures!

If anyone knew the real us, they’d realize we’re losers and would reject us–however much money or awards or status or celebrity we might have.

And the gap between the public self and the real, hidden self grows, we prop ourselves up with substances, with experiences, or with relationships.

Which deepen our wobble and cause additional, even deeper issues until we lose all control to our addictions.

The Crash

Then it all comes crashing down.

And depression–anger at ourselves for failing our selves–leaps up with a vengeance.

And who will love us then?

Who will pick us up when we have fallen so low?

Who will reach down when we find ourselves in a bottomless pit?

Is there an alternative to the failure-boasting line?  And if so, what is it and how do we get there?

That’s for next time!