Three Responses to Losing Control

Danger is everywhere!

All of us like to feel safe and secure.    All of us live in a world of threats–real or imagined.    Therefore, all of us are tempted to eliminate all threats and surround our self with a vast array of protections.

All of us are therefore tempted to assert control when we feel out of control.   But none of us actually has any control–none of us are God.

So one of the key questions of our lives is this, “What do I do when I feel like I’ve lost control?”

What techniques do we use to hold onto control?    What strategies do we use to regain control when we’ve lost it?

I see three possible options:

1) Fight to Regain Control.    Instead of being powerless, we try to be more powerful and overcome whatever or whoever is a threat.    Making threats, accusations, blaming, gossip, arguments and even violence are employed.

We vilify our enemy and we give ourselves permission to ignore the rules governing our own conduct until that threat is neutralized.     This is why the Pharisees were willing broke every legal rule to get rid of Jesus.  And this is why, so often in war, even the good guys commit atrocities.

2) Run from a Loss of Control.     When our fighting doesn’t work, we run away and escape the threat.     We leave that dangerous or bad place for another place where we can feel safe and in control again.

That’s why, when a married couple begins to battle for control, divorce is almost inevitable when they realize they’re in a battle they can’t win.    And that’s why many families members move away or won’t speak to other family members who’ve hurt them.

In the natural world, it’s fight or flight.    Attack or retreat.     Hunt down or run away.    Predator or prey.

But in God’s kingdom, there’s a still more excellent way.   It’s asking another question, “What is God doing by allowing events to happen in such a way to strip me of all control?   What’s He up to?”   Its where we:

3) Embrace Powerlessness and Turn All Control Over to Christ.

This is where we admit we only had the illusion of control.   God has held all control all along and we are in the palm of His hands.

He’s not wanting us to run away or fight other people for control.     He’s wanting us to surrender to His good control and allow Him to be our Savior–even in the midst of threatening circumstances.

The reason for leaving us in a threatened, vulnerable position is this:   that’s the very place where we need to experience His gracious control the most.   Wherever we are most tempted to fight or flight, that’s where we need to stay and grow through our fears.   It’s where “perfect love casts out fear”.

So we voluntarily assume the position of powerlessness under Him–in hopes of deliverance from the fears which rule our lives (including the fear of ourselves and our losing control of us).    We submit to Him in the midst of the chaos and abandon all attempts to fix it or manage it on our own.

We face our terrors, and bring our fears to Him for resolution by a choice to trust Him without any controls on our part.    He takes us through our fears to freedom on the other side of them.    We learn, at a deep emotional level, that He’s in control and we’re safe in Him no matter what others might say or do to us.

“The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me?!”

Even if we don’t survive, we are resurrected and triumph in faith over all threats and dangers.

The world only gives us two dead-end options that keep us trapped:  fight or flight.

Christ offers us the way out–which is to surrender ourselves to Him and embrace our powerlessness.   And then watch what He can do!