The Joy of Powerlessness

Most of us have an unspoken goal of handling everything, all by ourselves.

We want to be that competent, get-it-done, go-to kind of person who is looked up to.    We want to be an asset to our organization, a source of pride to our parents, and respected in our own eyes.     “Successful,” in other words.

If there are problems, we want to solve them.  If something is broke, we want to fix it.   If there is pain, we want to end it.  If there is injustice, we want to eliminate it.   If there are barriers, we want to overcome them.

Many of these qualities are good.    The problem is these goals can feed something ugly and destructive that will claim our life in the end.   And that something is control.   These goals require heaps and heaps of control over other people and life’s circumstance.

We put pressure on ourselves to solve the problems and fix the broken things of life.    We put pressure on ourselves to be competent and capable.    And we feel like terrible failures when we are thwarted.

So we try harder.  And we failure more.   And are ashamed more.

We prop ourselves up with relationships, experiences and substances–and lose control to these addictions and see ourselves perform even worse.     The more powerful we try to be, the more enslaved we are.   The harder we try, the worse we fail.

In the end, we are out of control and our lives have become unmanageable.   We can’t fix us.   And we never will.

So what is one to do?

The answer, to quote a famous book, is to admit to God, ourselves, and one other person that we are powerless.

We are licked.    We give up on trying to control our problem.    We quit.  We resign from godhood and vacate the throne of the universe.

Then something wonderful happens.    Relieved of this impossible goal and this crushing pressure to manage everything and control everything, we find ourselves at rest.    The torment is over.

We are small.    We hear a gentle Voice beckoning to us, calling us home.  We discover we are still loved.    Now we are ready for God to assume all control and therefore we turn our life and our will over to Him.

Then He manages the unmanageable things of our lives.   Our ego has collapsed and we find joy in being His and in allowing Him to care for us.     We have nothing to prove anymore, no status of success to earn or to lose, either.   The pressure is off.

I am rediscovering the joy of powerlessness.     It’s like a fresh breeze that’s blowing through my soul.     And it’s wonderful to watch God do what I cannot over and over and over again.

Do you know that joy?   Does it sound intriguing, even inviting?

I’ll speak in my next entry about the two particular areas where I’m learning to admit powerlessness and finding great joy on the other side of this admission.

Stay tuned…..